Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: For stamping out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have such big feet?
A: To stamp out burning ducks.
***
A man and a duck are walking down the street together. Suddenly the man notices a low-flying airplane coming right for them. The man yells "DUCK!!!!" and the duck looks back at the man with an angry face and yells "MAN!!!!"
***
Two monsters went duck-hunting with their dogs but without success. "I know what we're doing wrong," said the first one. "What's that then?" asked the second. "We're not throwing the dogs high enough!
Two monsters went duck-hunting with their dogs but without success. "I know what we're doing wrong," said the first one. "What's that then?" asked the second. "We're not throwing the dogs high enough!
***
There was a barman who owned a duck who danced on a tin box. He sold it to another bar man who phoned him later asking how to make him stop. He replied "Open the tin and blow out the candles!"
There was a barman who owned a duck who danced on a tin box. He sold it to another bar man who phoned him later asking how to make him stop. He replied "Open the tin and blow out the candles!"
***
A duck walks into a bar and says to the bar tender "I'll have a beer".
The bartender says "Hey! where did you come from?"
The duck says "I'm working the construction site across the street".
And the bartender says, "Well why are you working construction when you could be making millions in the circus?"
And the duck said "What would the circus want with a brick laying duck?"
A duck walks into a bar and says to the bar tender "I'll have a beer".
The bartender says "Hey! where did you come from?"
The duck says "I'm working the construction site across the street".
And the bartender says, "Well why are you working construction when you could be making millions in the circus?"
And the duck said "What would the circus want with a brick laying duck?"
***
I woke up feeling ducky, so guess what I made for dinner?
 |
| Served with sauteed bok choy and white rice |
Steamed and Roasted Duck
by Mark Bittman, from How to Cook Everything
by Mark Bittman, from How to Cook Everything
1 whole duck, 4 to 5 pounds, excess fat removed
Salt and freshly ground pepper
Salt and freshly ground pepper
2 Tbl soy sauce
2 Tbl honey
1 Tbl minced or grated fresh ginger (or 1 tsp ground ginger)
1 Tbl chopped garlic
2 Tbl dry sherry or white wine
2 Tbl dry white wine or water
1. Rig a steamer. Put 1 to 2 inches of water in the bottom. Put the duck on the rack or plate, cover the pot, and turn the heat to high. Steam for about 45 minutes, adding boiling water if necessary.
2. Remove the duck from the pot, put it on a rack, and cool for at least 15 minutes (you can also wrap it well and refrigerate for up to 2 days).
3. Heat the oven to 375 degrees F. Combine all the remaining ingredients in a saucepan and cook over low heat, stirring, until just shy of a boil. Put the duck, breast side down (wings up), on a rack in a roasting pan. Baste with the sauce.
4. Roast the duck for 15 minutes, baste it, then turn it breast side up. Raise the heat to 425 degrees F. Baste the bird again and roast it until the skin is crisp, another 15 minutes or so, until the internal temperature is 155-165 degrees F. Let the duck rest for a few minutes, then carve and serve.
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